A-Infos (en) The Bill Gates pie in the face interview

[Platformist Anarchism <platform@geocities.com>]

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Godin led the gang that gave to Bill Gates what 
so many of us only dream of: a big wet pie in 
the face. The attack took place at the entrance 
of Le Concert Noble on Arlon Street in Brussels 
and was widely reported in the press.

Let's pie! Let's pie! Nincompoop guys!
by Hugues Henry February 9, 1998

Until last week, Noel Godin was relatively 
unknown in the United States. A 52-year-old 
Belgian author, film historian, actor ("The 
Sexual Life of the Belgians"), writer ("Cream 
and Punishment") and "entarteur" (a Godin 
coinage that roughly translates as "encaker" or 
"pie-er"), Godin led the gang that gave to Bill 
Gates what so many of us only dream of: a big 
wet pie in the face. The attack took place at 
the entrance of Le Concert Noble on Arlon Street 
in Brussels and was widely reported in the 
press.

 Godin doesn't own a computer and didn't even 
know what a URL is. His girlfriend, however, 
uses a PC. (This interview was conducted and 
translated by Hugues Henry.)

The Netly News: Who are you, Noel Godin?

Noel Godin: I'm part of a gang of bad hellions 
that have declared the pie war on all the 
unpleasant celebrities in every kind of domain 
(slogan: "Let's pie! Let's pie! Nincompoop 
guys!"). We began to act against "empty" 
celebrities from the artistic world who were 
thinking they were the cat's whiskers. Then we 
attacked the TV news business in France, for 
instance, Patrick Poivre D'Arvor [a famous 
French TV presenter]. Then it became political 
with Philippe Douste-Blazy in Cannes, the French 
minister of culture, or the other French 
minister Nicolas Sarkozy last year in Brussels.

NN When did you first pie someone?

Godin: In November 1969, with French writer 
Marguerite Duras, who represented for us the 
"empty" novel.

NN Why did you choose Bill Gates?

Godin: Because in a way he is the master of the 
world, and then because he's offering his 
intelligence, his sharpened imagination and his 
power to the governments and to the world as it 
is today -- that is to say gloomy, unjust and 
nauseating. He could have been a utopist, but he 
prefers being the lackey of the establishment. 
His power is effective and bigger than that of 
the leaders of the governments, who are only 
many- colored servants. So Bill Gates was at the 
top of our lists of victims. The attack against 
him is symbolic, it's against hierarchical power 
itself. Our war cry was explicit: "Let's pie! 
Let's pie the polluting lolly!"

NN So you have a whole list of people you want 
to pie?

Godin: Yes, we have meetings here in my house. 
These are funny meetings; we have a good time 
with good drinks and at the same time we plot. 
We always agree on the target choice and then we 
have to study how to reach the target.

NN How did you prepare to pie Bill Gates?

Godin: For several years, there's been a new 
phenomenon. Traitors appear in the entourage of 
our victims who contact us to give us firsthand 
information. Our victims, at first sight, are 
very unpleasant and they are far from being 
loved in their own circle; this is our trump. 
For instance, these last years, Patrick Poivre 
D'Arvor, [producer] Daniel Toscan du Plantier 
and [French minister] Nicolas Sarkozy have been 
betrayed. In the case of Bill Gates, a member of 
the staff of Microsoft Belgium contacted us and 
gave us a mysterious rendezvous. Thanks to him, 
the operation was a success. Of course we won't 
give his name. It's a secret; only a few know 
his identity. But we want to tell it because we 
would be very amused if there was suspicion in 
the staff of Microsoft. "Who's the traitor?!"

It happened one week before the arrival of Bill 
Gates in Belgium. We received, little by little, 
very precise information about the planning of 
the Bill. Some Parisian accomplices followed him 
the day before, step by step, notably when he 
first met Lionel Jospin [French prime minister]. 
For instance, we learned that he was always 
escorted by five armed bodyguards but no more. 
In Belgium, he had four motorcycle policemen and 
he had five important rendezvous that day. So, 
to succeed, we only had one solution: our 
number. We were 30 individuals. That's why we 
succeeded. We were extremely determined, we were 
in a good mood. We were a funny commando.

We were divided in "gloupinesques" [from his 
pseudonym, Le Gloupier] fighting units of three 
on Arlon Street, where people were waiting for 
him in Le Concert Noble. There was traffic in 
the street so the plotters were anonymous. When 
Bill Gates arrived with screaming sirens, he 
walked outside his car and as he was climbing 
the steps several of our fighting units gathered 
and they created a kind of pie whirl that fell 
on him. The bodyguards were completely 
distraught. None of them even took out his gun. 
They were as dazed as Bill was.

NN Do you know why there's a traitor in the 
staff of Microsoft Belgium? What were his 
motivations?

Godin: This man told us he really loved Bill 
Gates in the past, saying that he was very cool 
and passionate. But little by little he 
considered that his power had tainted him, and 
that he was becoming more and more haughty with 
his own collaborators. So the man who gave us 
the information considered, and he's not alone, 
that it wouldn't be bad to teach Bill a lesson, 
to bring him back to reality. That's how he 
explained to us why he was doing it. He's far 
from being a member of our band, he's not an 
anarchist and he likes his work with Microsoft, 
but he thought it had to happen.

NN So you weren't paid by someone from Netscape 
or Oracle?

Godin: Certainly not; I wasn't even aware of 
their existence.

NN Weren't you afraid of the armed bodyguards 
and the police?

Godin: This time, yes, we were afraid. We didn't 
sleep very well the night before. We thought, 
since the bodyguards of Bill Gates are 
professional, they won't fire. I told my men, 
"Be happy and show it is only cream." To be 
strong, we drank some good Trappist beers. So 
they were laughing and joking when they went to 
the front... Of course I wasn't in the commando 
because the authorities, the press... they know 
my face. It would have been a mistake, even with 
a disguise. So I was on an adjacent street.

NN How many pies were thrown?

Godin: Four touched Bill Gates in the face. 
There were 25 pies in all. One of the secrets of 
the gloupinesque operation is that you don't 
have to throw the pies. You must put the pies 
point-blank in the face of the victim. One of 
the members of the victorious commando is the 
filmmaker R=E9my Belvaux ("Man Bites Dog"). He 
unfortunately lost his papers and so the cops 
revealed his identity.

NN What were their feelings just the second 
after they touched Bill Gates with the pie?

Godin: The exhilaration of victory. Exquisite 
pleasure. The gloupinesque operations have a 95 
percent success rate. But each time we are 
stressed, and each time it's the same pleasure.

NN How did Bill Gates react?

Godin: He had a kind of promotional smile that 
became a kind of smile made of sand...

NN When you touch your victim, don't you have 
the feeling of being powerful? You had pies, but 
it could have been a knife.

Godin: Yes, but this is not our problem. We are 
comical terrorists and the pie is symbolic. The 
victim is only injured in his self-esteem. We 
take a lot of care that the pies can't hurt 
psysically. The pastry is soft and full of 
cream.

NN Do you cook the pies?

Godin: No, we are very lazy. We buy the pies in 
a shop nearby the place of the crime. This time, 
the pies where coming from a little shop called 
Au Petit Pain Frais, chauss=E9e de Haecht.

NN Will Bill Gates pursue your commandos?

Godin: No, it would be catastrophic for him and 
his reputation.

NN If someone gave you money to pie his enemy, 
would you accept it?

Godin: We have never been pie mercenaries. But 
we've had several offers of a good amount of 
money. For instance, I had an offer to pie 
Catherine Deneuve in Cannes and also Sharon 
Stone. I refused. I love Catherine Deneuve and 
the movies of Jacques Demy; and that year Sharon 
Stone was in a western I really liked. So I had 
nothing against her. We are pie pirates. But if 
we receive money when we pie someone, we are not 
puritan leftists. We received money once: in the 
case of [famous French singer and actor] Patrick 
Bruel. We offered the money to the anarchist 
Parisian magazine Mordicus. So if someone wants 
to give us money we won't misuse it. I could 
really enjoy life if I could earn much money 
doing this job! It's a big game and we have fun 
together. We want to live fast and to laugh as 
much as we can. We want to transform our lives 
just like Oscar Wilde wanted to. Everything is 
awful around us, so let's try to have fun.

NN: If Bill Gates had to come back in a few 
months in Belgium, would pie him again?

Godin: We shall see. But we declare war on all 
the governments of the world, on Tony Blair, on 
Bill Clinton, on the pope... When the pope last 
came to Belgium, if we'd had a traitor 
sponsoring us, we'd have pied him. We had a 
strategy. For us, the pope is a dangerous serial 
killer because he is against the preservative 
[birth control]. On our blacklist, you will also 
find Demi Moore; Tom Cruise and John Travolta, 
who are both members of the Scientology; Bill 
Graham... On the other hand, we have more and 
more sympathizers everywhere. We had thousands 
of propositions to help us, even abroad. We also 
have many enemies. But we are like the 
characters of a cartoon. We are like Laurel & 
Hardy, Bugs Bunny, the Marx Brothers, the 
yippies of May 1968. 
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