A-Infos (en) UK, AFED, Organise - DEPARTMENT OF THE UNNAMED ANCIENT EVIL DEEP BELOW PARIS (ca, de, it, pt, tr)[machine translation]

One ---- The surface world, 9AM, in the lobby of a monumentous, and 
rather extravagant building commissioned by an ancient regime. 
Officially purposed to serve as the tax office, the building is secretly 
dedicated to the Department of the Unnamed Ancient Evil Deep Below 
Paris, the UAEDBP, pronounced "oo-wad-e-bop". ----- Six months ago, 
Jean-Phillipe had been a tax-man of an altogether different sort; an 
accounting whizz with a penchant for routine and a scrupulous attention 
to detail. Recruitment into this organisation began as fairly usual, his 
line manager giving him the tip-off that he was in line for a lucrative 
internal promotion, if he played his cards right. As Jean-Phillipe's 
application progressed, however, it became apparent that they must have 
been observing him for decades, subjecting him to minute behavioural 
surveillance, going all the way back to his beginnings in this job. They 
were fairly candid about this, telling him of their scouting him for 
"markers" - traits including the ability to keep a secret, and others of 
a more fantastical nature which Jean-Philippe did not at all comprehend.

Tax documents were arriving now, he was relieved to see. He watched them 
glide across the lobby towards him, tapping his foot impatiently as he 
stood by the document shaft. They were well under-quota, and being 
under-quota could potentially spell the doom of all mankind.

In spite of the high stakes, his work was not perilous and his part in 
it was altogether easy. Jean-Philippe's part, in truth, essentially 
consisted of arranging the delivery of bureaucratic documents - taken 
from all over the world - and throwing them down a mine shaft that he 
was told extended all the way down to the earth's fiery core. The 
documents ranged in language and purpose,; all that mattered was that 
they had been filled sincerely, and by a human being. It was also 
important that the homo-sapiens in question had undergone some mental, 
emotional or spiritual strain during the creation of the document. All 
this was measurable, using the latest modern equipment. Despite the fact 
that the documents should have already been processed thoroughly, 
Jean-Philippe liked to give them one last good check before he threw 
them down the well. His ennui-counter crackled as he waved it over each 
stack, then "SCHOOM" went the documents, as he tossed them down the pipe.

As is perhaps apparent from their international nature, this effort was 
being conducted with the knowledge and co-operation of the top levels of 
all of the world's most powerful governments, even among those who may 
be mutual enemies. The reason for their steadfast loyalty to the 
programme lay in the terror which would be inflicted on everyone if the 
UAEDBP was unable to meet its quota; for at the bottom of the shaft, at 
the centre of the Earth's core, lay a demon of immense proportion with 
an insatiable desire to consume the human energies entombed within these 
documents. If the demon was not continuously fed, then it would rise up 
and destroy the world; at the very least it would destroy the Republic, 
leaving behind permanent, irreversible, pandemonium.

Of this nobody could be sure, but everybody was certain.

Two
About 200 metres below the surface, 9:15AM.

"Long Live the Under People!" went the shrill cry of 
three-hundred-thousand rats, a mere handful of the loyal subjects of a 
noble empire from time immemorial, but an impressive workforce nonetheless.

Kragaz looked over his workforce with pride. He had been a Filer since 
he was a boy,; now 20 years old he had ascended to Senior Management, an 
honour bestowed upon him in recognition of years of service and of 
living to an abnormally old age, for a rat.

Kragaz did not dwell on this, for he did not have the attention span 
required to let his mind wander for very long - in any case the grueling 
demands of this industry forbade it. The late-shift had now stopped work 
and it was time for the early-shift to begin,; there could be no 
dilly-dallying. Seemingly to illustrate this, at that very moment a wad 
of documents flew down Shaft 44A without warning. They landed with a 
thud and a screech as an unsuspecting worker was crushed to death under 
their weight.

The Gods sent them so much paperwork these days. All Senior Management 
agreed that it must mean they were delighted with the... er, progress. 
"File the fodder, and the Gods will send us bountiful food", so said the 
priests.

"To work!" Kragaz shrieked. His loyal workforce obeyed, scurrying 
frantically to their stations. Within seconds, the new pages had been 
collected, separated, and re-ordered. The details of this work are 
complex, but put briefly, the pages are categorised based on any number 
of qualifying factors, such as the presence or absence of a little 
number in the corner of the page, the type of paper used, and the size 
of the font. Thankfully Kragaz's expert workers can handle it all in a 
matter of seconds, and the newly ordered documents are were sent to the 
specialists for analysis.

The older rats working in analysis are given to a number of different 
specialisations relating to the aforementioned categories, but they 
largely complete the same work of analysing the documents and discerning 
their purpose. This work can also be very complex, but thankfully the 
arsenal of analytical methods available to such rats are wide and 
varied,; typically one analysis will employ a range of approaches. One 
example analysis could involve: looking over the documents - holding 
them up to the light - nibbling at the edges - and finally, rolling them 
around in the palms of one's paws. Once analysed, the documents are 
ordered by vibe and loaded into the appropriate magazine. At the very 
end of the shift, there is a brief inspection from Senior Management, 
then each magazine is fired one at a time from a cannon. The magazines 
land (hopefully) into the corresponding section of an enormous filing 
cabinet, now in their rightful place.

Here the documents are left to rot.

https://organisemagazine.org.uk/2026/01/09/department-of-the-unnamed-ancient-evil-deep-below-paris/
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